Sweet baby blue

Sweet baby blue,

This first year has gone by so fast. I don’t remember time going by quite as fast with your sister and maybe it was because I was with her 24 hours a day and you have gone to daycare. Let me tell you, that first time I dropped you off was just torture even though I only left you for a few hours while I ran errands before I ever went back to work. I sobbed, T. I sobbed and sobbed because I felt so bad for leaving you. For months and months and I tried to think of hundreds of creative ways I could make it work so that I could stay home with you like I had with your sister and before you were born, I really don’t think daddy really, really understood what I was worried about. He did agree that there would be nothing better than for you to be home with me. But when you were finally here and he held you in his arms, he knew. But you know, a year later and 9 months of daycare, I can honestly say that we are very blessed because you have been loved by all your teachers and they have helped you grow and be so independent. You are not just another snotty, whiny kid they plop in front of a TV. I can tell they love you like family.

So back to your daddy….you are a very lucky boy, T. We are all very lucky but you really are his world and reason for being. You have come to heal a lifetime of wounds and emptiness in his heart. You are his, you are his blood and no one can take that away from him. He has taken you every morning to daycare and brought you home every afternoon. He is amazed by you and would give you the world.

You have a pretty special bond with your sissy it seems. Your face lights up when you see her. Lately you have taken the little picture of her from the coffee table and after a few smiles at her, you take her with you as you move all over the house. She can instantly bring a smile and a laugh to your face.

Now you and I…before I met your daddy, I really wasn’t very interested in having another baby. (Your sister traumatized me. Ya’ll are really hard work, ya’ know. :) ) But when I got to know him and how badly he wanted to have a family, I knew I would be a fool to not be a part of that. I knew I would be the luckiest woman to have his baby and that our baby would be the luckiest baby in the world to be loved by him.
Your sweet demeanor and gorgeous face has blessed me and filled me with such peace and happiness, Tyler. It’s almost like if God sent you to me…and daddy and even Granny Kelle to replace some of the sadness and loss we have had in the last few years with joy and happiness. You really are a sweet baby. You have been healthy and strong and calm and so happy.

I pray to God that I do my best to teach you to be a good person and an honorable man. I pray to God you treat women with the same love and respect that daddy has for me and that you don’t make me a gramma before you finish college. I pray to God that you are not too much of a sarcastic little shit when you are a teenager, that I don’t have to bail you out of jail more than once, and that you get a job at an early age so you can pay for your own expensive cowboy boots and mud tires. But most of all I pray to God that you continue being so sweet and healthy and strong so you can live a long and blessed life and one day feel as happy and proud of your own babies as I am.

Te quiero tanto mi principe azul,

Mommy
February 6, 2009