Sing Your Song

Dear Julie Pie,

I intended to write this a while back but put it off thinking I would mind my own business but then I realized that I could share these thoughts with you. I realized that if I couldn’t save all the other girls in the world, that I need to try my best to save you.

My sweet daughter…

Make some mistakes and learn from them. Just try to not make my mistakes. I already made them for you to learn from.

Do not ever settle. Do not ever settle with what you get from others or yourself. You deserve the world. You deserve respect and appreciation. You deserve to be important to someone else and to yourself. To love someone is to put their interests ahead of your own at times, to lift them up to be their best, to nurture them, to help them, to make them better at being who they are. Is it selfish to expect this? No. Is it fair to do the same for the one you love. Of course. That is what being in love and in a relationship is all about. You should be each others soft place to fall when you need comfort and support.

Is it lady like to be modest and humble, to not expect him to remember your birthday or anniversary? Is it ok to say you have received flowers only once in ten years from him? No, not really. I guarantee it’s not. Is it too much to ask for? No. So ask. So expect it.

Speak up. No one can read your mind. If you are not getting what you want or what you need, it is because you haven’t asked for it. If leaving the seat up is really that important compared to the big picture, then say so. You may not get what you want, but you never know. He may surprise you.

Pick your battles. You are not perfect either. The toilet seat up may drive you nuts but looking at your curling iron every morning may ruin his day. If your baby wants to wear striped pants with a polka dot shirt, I think she will be just fine.

Be humble and kind about your beauty. Accept it but do not flaunt it if it means you will hurt the insecure person next to you. Now that is really unattractive. It’s called being conceited. Confident and conceited are not the same thing. Know how to take a compliment. Just take the compliment. You deserve it.

Do not rush. You do not have to be married before you are 25. You do not have to have kids before you turn 30. Even if everyone else is. There are no rules. If you rush, you may make the wrong choice for all the wrong reasons. I promise you that you will look as beautiful in your wedding gown when you are 32 than you would at 22.

Do not always say yes. Have a backbone. We already had Someone sacrifice themselves so that we could be happy. Take that gift and love yourself. Sometimes it is ok to just say no. I guarantee no one will love you any less if you do.

Do not hold a grudge. When someone hurts you, they take power over you. When you do not forgive them, they keep that power. Just put it in God’s hands and believe in Karma. It has never failed me. J

Follow the Golden Rule always.

Do not stop smiling. “Nunca dejes de sonreir, ni siquiera cuando estes triste, porque nunca sabes quien se puede enamoroar de tu sonrisa.” –Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Do not try to heal the world unless you have already healed yourself. Unless you are a skilled professional and do it for a living, you cannot heal the world. You can comfort and support but you cannot solve everyone else’s problems. You will end up forgetting yourself. And if you are unhappy and empty, chances are that everyone around you that loves you has suffered for it somehow.

Sing your song. Do not be too busy or preoccupied with everyone else that you forget to sing your song. Be who you dreamed of being and do what you dreamed you would do. Time will quickly pass and you will find yourself with a long list of things that never got done.

Surrender to God. The highest expression of faith is to rest. So stop worrying and put it in God’s hands. Don’t pray for money or success or a man. Just pray for happiness because only He knows what form it will come in.

Don’t waste the pretty. You are pretty. You are definitely too pretty for him. And him. And him. Are you tall enough? Skinny enough? Are your nails perfect? Your hair perfect? Compared to what? You’re body will constantly change and one day what your body is capable of will amaze you so take care of it and accept it for what it is. You will not weigh at 35 what you weighed when you were 20 unless you have time in your life to work at it. Life just happens. Work, routines, busy schedules, pregnancy, etc. Accept yourself and love yourself. Do this for your daughter. Set the example for her so that she can expect others to love her as much as you love her.

Sometimes it is no one else’s fault but your own. Whining is very unattractive. It solves nothing really. If you are unhappy, then make yourself happy. Only you have that power sometimes. Do not waste life waiting for someone to come along to make you happy. I think they have enough to worry about, don’t you think? Remember that it is all about choices. Many things happen as God intends them and sometimes those things are not our choice like an illness, a horrible accident, death but otherwise take life by horns and hold on tight!!

I know I have made my mistakes and sometimes made bad choices but I continue to grow and learn. I hope that I set a good example for you and teach you through example how to be a strong woman, a good wife, a nurturing mother, and an honest friend. I hope you can do the same for your daughter and all the other women in your life.

Love,
Momma