Sometimes I get so sad because you're growing up so very fast and although you are right there next to me, I feel like you are miles and miles away. I question myself and wonder if I really know who you are and who you will become. I think it is just because I get so caught up and busy in our day to day routine that I think I'm letting precious moments just slip on by and the guilt consumes me. And now as I say all this out loud, I realize that in the past we had so many special moments and I felt so connected to you because well....we really were VERY connected back then, connected at the hip. 'Back then' I didn't have to share you, 'back then' you didn't have to share me either, 'back then' we were together every second of every day. But honestly, regardless of the circumstances, I think this new dynamic to our relationship would have been inevitable so I try hard not to beat myself up too much. It's inevitable that you would grow up and mature and create new relationships and gain independence. It's inevitable that one day I will be just "Mom" and no longer "Momma".
You just finished the first grade. Just like kindergarten, starting off first grade was a little rough and worrisome. You were a bit behind the other kids with your reading and once again, you worked at a slower pace completing your classwork than everyone else. I think after two years of this and a variety of tests, I am comfortable knowing that you are absolutely perfect and intelligent and not only are you a perfectionist, but you are easily bored. And not only that, we have accepted that every school year will start off the same taking into consideration that you will always be the youngest one in your class. Some of your classmates have been 7 since last fall while you had to wait until this summer. We have hopefully taught you this year that we want you just to do your best and not be afraid to try. We want you to know that as long as you have honestly tried, we do not expect perfection.
You excelled in math and art this year. Ms Jimenez would assign a few pages of math on Mondays that wouldn't be due until Friday and more often than not, you would zoom right through it in one sitting. It was amazing how easily your grasped math. You also brought home some of the most amazing artwork and even was chosen as a finalist in a local art contest.
You're growing leaps and bounds, Julie Pie. You're a little lady now and you continue to be radiant and gorgeous. You are sweet and caring and Tyler couldn't be more in love with you. You make him feel safe and happy and he looks for you when you are not here. I love you, sweet pea. You make me proud and make my heart whole. I look at you and constantly pray and hope that you grow up to feel strong and confident.
I want you to be a leader and not a follower. I want you to be aware of what you are worth and never be surprised when you discover that you've made an impression on someone. I want you to have thick skin to the envy and immaturity that is lurking right around the corner. I want you to know without a doubt that you belong to a family that loves you and supports you. I want you to know without a doubt where your soft place to fall is....always in my arms and in my heart.
Love,
Momma
P.S. Tell those two front teeth to hurry up!
No comments:
Post a Comment