Small glass of water

Sometimes my life is so hectic and I have so many things on my mental to-do list that I feel like I am drowning in my own little glass of water. I get angry at the circumstances and the hurdles I'm having to leap over. I try to think of the women I most look up to and that they have in their own difficult times carried heavier burdens on their shoulders as mothers and wives. I try to remind myself that the stress, fear, exhaustion, and frustration I am experiencing is being felt by thousands of women over the world. Yet at times I can't help the urge to just fade away.

I can close my eyes for a moment and just envision myself floating. Floating away like a balloon that eventually disintegrates and becomes dust. But it makes me sad that I am not as strong as my heroes; that I don't have my own garden, join the PTA, and parent my children all alone while my husband works away for days at a time. These women have been through so much more and yet here I am, constantly feeling the weight of unhappiness, anxiety that consumes me, incessantly whining to the point that even I cannot stand the sound of my own voice. Instead I should feel blessed and alive and willing to take on more and give more of myself to others instead of perpetrating this feeling of helplessness. Here I am, getting by one day at a time and drowning in my small glass of water.