Showing posts with label Tyler Cash. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tyler Cash. Show all posts
Friday, August 19, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tina Fey
This is just toooo brilliant not to keep forever and I took the liberty to mark * my favorite parts.
A Mother's Prayer For Its Child by Tina Fey (from her book BossyPants)
“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. ******
May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.
When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer. *****
Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age. *******
Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.
May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.
Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait. *******
O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.
And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it. *****LOVE IT*******
And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes. *******LOVE IT*******
Amen.”
-Tina Fey
A Mother's Prayer For Its Child by Tina Fey (from her book BossyPants)
“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. ******
May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.
When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer. *****
Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age. *******
Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.
May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.
Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait. *******
O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.
And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it. *****LOVE IT*******
And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes. *******LOVE IT*******
Amen.”
-Tina Fey
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Principe Azul
Big T,
You amaze me every day and when I am in the middle of one of my pity parties, I look at you and you make everything alright. You make the sky bluer, the jokes funnier, the air lighter.
You are only a few months past your second birthday and you are quite the chatter box. You say things like Scuse me, Peeese, Wawaaa, get back, I wanna eat, I wanna inside, lots of "I wanna", lions and tigers are 'Roars', cows and horses are 'Moomoos', etc. It's endless but the fact that you are putting sentences together blows my mind. You look like a little man and are losing all your baby features. It is just amazing how big you have gotten. You are animated and funny and still so very sweet. You are a true delight and I thank God everyday that he sent you to us to make life so much happier.
Momma loves you forever.
You amaze me every day and when I am in the middle of one of my pity parties, I look at you and you make everything alright. You make the sky bluer, the jokes funnier, the air lighter.
You are only a few months past your second birthday and you are quite the chatter box. You say things like Scuse me, Peeese, Wawaaa, get back, I wanna eat, I wanna inside, lots of "I wanna", lions and tigers are 'Roars', cows and horses are 'Moomoos', etc. It's endless but the fact that you are putting sentences together blows my mind. You look like a little man and are losing all your baby features. It is just amazing how big you have gotten. You are animated and funny and still so very sweet. You are a true delight and I thank God everyday that he sent you to us to make life so much happier.
Momma loves you forever.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Big T,
I know it's not your birthday or any other monumental day (other than the day they release the Beatles Rock Band and all their remastered albums), but I wanted to tell you how wonderful you are. I know I am a bit biased and I am sure every mother thinks their child is cuter and smarter than the others but I think you are wonderful.
Yesterday you came up to me and put a tiny little flower in my hair that you took from the planters on the front porch. I just melted. Yesterday you also starting shrugging your shoulders as if to say "I dont know". Too funny. You have the cutest personality. You finally give the best hugs and kisses. You say "wasat" (what's that), "ouside" (outside), "mo" (more), and you sign 'more' and 'please'. I am sure you sign a few other things but I have no idea since I dont know sign language. :) You want to be so helpful and you take direction so well. It blows our mind that you actually understand everything we ask of you.
I love you Big T. You have that second ugly molar coming in and I know it's driving you crazy. I hope all our hugs and kisses make it just a little bit better. Just wanted to tell you how much I love you.
Momma
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Sweet baby blue
Sweet baby blue,
This first year has gone by so fast. I don’t remember time going by quite as fast with your sister and maybe it was because I was with her 24 hours a day and you have gone to daycare. Let me tell you, that first time I dropped you off was just torture even though I only left you for a few hours while I ran errands before I ever went back to work. I sobbed, T. I sobbed and sobbed because I felt so bad for leaving you. For months and months and I tried to think of hundreds of creative ways I could make it work so that I could stay home with you like I had with your sister and before you were born, I really don’t think daddy really, really understood what I was worried about. He did agree that there would be nothing better than for you to be home with me. But when you were finally here and he held you in his arms, he knew. But you know, a year later and 9 months of daycare, I can honestly say that we are very blessed because you have been loved by all your teachers and they have helped you grow and be so independent. You are not just another snotty, whiny kid they plop in front of a TV. I can tell they love you like family.
So back to your daddy….you are a very lucky boy, T. We are all very lucky but you really are his world and reason for being. You have come to heal a lifetime of wounds and emptiness in his heart. You are his, you are his blood and no one can take that away from him. He has taken you every morning to daycare and brought you home every afternoon. He is amazed by you and would give you the world.
You have a pretty special bond with your sissy it seems. Your face lights up when you see her. Lately you have taken the little picture of her from the coffee table and after a few smiles at her, you take her with you as you move all over the house. She can instantly bring a smile and a laugh to your face.
Now you and I…before I met your daddy, I really wasn’t very interested in having another baby. (Your sister traumatized me. Ya’ll are really hard work, ya’ know. :) ) But when I got to know him and how badly he wanted to have a family, I knew I would be a fool to not be a part of that. I knew I would be the luckiest woman to have his baby and that our baby would be the luckiest baby in the world to be loved by him.
Your sweet demeanor and gorgeous face has blessed me and filled me with such peace and happiness, Tyler. It’s almost like if God sent you to me…and daddy and even Granny Kelle to replace some of the sadness and loss we have had in the last few years with joy and happiness. You really are a sweet baby. You have been healthy and strong and calm and so happy.
I pray to God that I do my best to teach you to be a good person and an honorable man. I pray to God you treat women with the same love and respect that daddy has for me and that you don’t make me a gramma before you finish college. I pray to God that you are not too much of a sarcastic little shit when you are a teenager, that I don’t have to bail you out of jail more than once, and that you get a job at an early age so you can pay for your own expensive cowboy boots and mud tires. But most of all I pray to God that you continue being so sweet and healthy and strong so you can live a long and blessed life and one day feel as happy and proud of your own babies as I am.
Te quiero tanto mi principe azul,
Mommy
February 6, 2009
This first year has gone by so fast. I don’t remember time going by quite as fast with your sister and maybe it was because I was with her 24 hours a day and you have gone to daycare. Let me tell you, that first time I dropped you off was just torture even though I only left you for a few hours while I ran errands before I ever went back to work. I sobbed, T. I sobbed and sobbed because I felt so bad for leaving you. For months and months and I tried to think of hundreds of creative ways I could make it work so that I could stay home with you like I had with your sister and before you were born, I really don’t think daddy really, really understood what I was worried about. He did agree that there would be nothing better than for you to be home with me. But when you were finally here and he held you in his arms, he knew. But you know, a year later and 9 months of daycare, I can honestly say that we are very blessed because you have been loved by all your teachers and they have helped you grow and be so independent. You are not just another snotty, whiny kid they plop in front of a TV. I can tell they love you like family.
So back to your daddy….you are a very lucky boy, T. We are all very lucky but you really are his world and reason for being. You have come to heal a lifetime of wounds and emptiness in his heart. You are his, you are his blood and no one can take that away from him. He has taken you every morning to daycare and brought you home every afternoon. He is amazed by you and would give you the world.
You have a pretty special bond with your sissy it seems. Your face lights up when you see her. Lately you have taken the little picture of her from the coffee table and after a few smiles at her, you take her with you as you move all over the house. She can instantly bring a smile and a laugh to your face.
Now you and I…before I met your daddy, I really wasn’t very interested in having another baby. (Your sister traumatized me. Ya’ll are really hard work, ya’ know. :) ) But when I got to know him and how badly he wanted to have a family, I knew I would be a fool to not be a part of that. I knew I would be the luckiest woman to have his baby and that our baby would be the luckiest baby in the world to be loved by him.
Your sweet demeanor and gorgeous face has blessed me and filled me with such peace and happiness, Tyler. It’s almost like if God sent you to me…and daddy and even Granny Kelle to replace some of the sadness and loss we have had in the last few years with joy and happiness. You really are a sweet baby. You have been healthy and strong and calm and so happy.
I pray to God that I do my best to teach you to be a good person and an honorable man. I pray to God you treat women with the same love and respect that daddy has for me and that you don’t make me a gramma before you finish college. I pray to God that you are not too much of a sarcastic little shit when you are a teenager, that I don’t have to bail you out of jail more than once, and that you get a job at an early age so you can pay for your own expensive cowboy boots and mud tires. But most of all I pray to God that you continue being so sweet and healthy and strong so you can live a long and blessed life and one day feel as happy and proud of your own babies as I am.
Te quiero tanto mi principe azul,
Mommy
February 6, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
